


You Really Are an Idiot

by Wordywizard



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Banter, EEG, F/M, Fluff, Singing, The Vault (Doctor Who), Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordywizard/pseuds/Wordywizard
Summary: The Doctor is convinced that sleep isn't, in fact, real and has been for a while. Missy attempts to convince him of the contrary. Based on a post by Just-Another-Chaotic-Virgo.
Relationships: The Doctor/Missy (Doctor Who), The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Twelfth Doctor/Missy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	You Really Are an Idiot

The Doctor was monologue again. Although, no one was particularly listening they were watching The Doctors' movements. He was pacing the length of the vault flapping his arms about as if to stab the point into all those "listening".

Missy was rather partial to him when he was ranting. His fire for topics as mundane as socks to as serious as the nature of morality was beautiful. She was plonking away on her piano absentmindedly as she watched him swing his arms around indignantly.

"...He was rude about it, like can you prove sleep isn't real. I wanted to deck him like how can he believe sleep is real with no evidence." He steamed twisting and turning just before he ran into Nardole.

"Wait I'm sorry you don't believe in SLEEP! HOW?! WHY?!" Nardole squealed in a panicked voice. 

"Yeah he's been pretty sure sleep isn't real since we were at the academy. Caused him some trouble when he collapsed in the middle of a study session." Missy said with a smirk. 

"Look sleep isn't a real thing is just society accepting the death of almost its entire population every night." He said pointing aggressively at first Nardole and then Missy.

"I'm sorry what, sir." Nardole puffed hands drawn up together.

"You wouldn't get it it's not like you have to 'sleep,'" he said forking his massive eyebrows into a frown.

"How about an experiment, dear. You go to sleep I record your brain waves and if there are none your right and we can rush to inform the world." Missy queried fingers moving to rest upon the top of the grand piano.

"You've tried this on me before. I'm not so easily tricked." He said moving to the other side of the piano to wave a finger at her.

"Fine then how about me or that new pet of yours whats-her-name, Bill. That way you can see the results for yourself." She acquiesced.

"We're not getting Bill involved." He cautioned, his frown was audible and very distracting if one was trying to concentrate which luckily no one was.

"Fine I'll do it if it will prove my bloody point." She huffed sliding herself of the piano throne and onto her feet. She liked being on at as close to eye level with him. With the slight elevation of the plinth on which the piano sat she was almost eye level with him.

"And if I'm wrong?" He questioned. The frown was getting annoying now anyone else would think that was the intention on the part of the Doctor but Missy remembered the days when he couldn't control his physical abilities at all. She remembered when they were very young and she could hear him thinking about asking her (at the time him) out or how beautiful they looked.

"Then you'll start sleeping properly and down here for the first while. I want proof!" She pressed. It had nothing to do with her wanting to sleep by him like when they were kids of course. Nothing at all to do with that. Why would it, those days were certainly long past.

"Fine." He said walking up onto the plinth.

"Well get rid of comic relief." She said eyeing Nardole.

"I do have a name you know!" Nardole grumbled.

"You heard what she said comic relief. GO." He commanded. Nardole left with a huff leaving only The Doctor and Missy in the vault.

"Well you probably should get some gear unless you're going to try to read my mind as I sleep which I assure you you're not, dear." She said moving towards her wardrobe.

"I could have a Nardole do it but you made me dismiss him." He fumed.

"And you should have remembered something that simple. Sleep deprivation, dear it really is a bitch." She commented smoothly watching as the doctor left the vault.

She changed into something much more comfortable for sleep as he got whatever he needed and then took her hair down and put it into a simple bun. He came back a few minutes after she finished lugging a machine and a mess of wires. 

She had flopped down on her bed which was a fine Victorian mess. It was a four-post canopy bed with purple plush duvet and cotton sheets. She'd learned the hard way that silk was too slippery to sleep on and not fall out. Beside it stood an empty nightstand on which the Doctor placed the machine.

"Well we've got to get these wires on which means you need your hair down." He said fiddling with the settings on the EEG. After a couple of seconds he stopped producing a self-satisfied look.

"Is that really necessary." She said. She'd already agreed to this foolish experiment to prove something that was obviously true.

"Yes."

"Fine," She said, eyeing him dangerously. She undid the bun letting her hair fall down. She sat on the edge of the bed tapping a pattern onto his leg.

He worked away marking her head up with a marker which wasn't part of the deal but she didn't complain she'd get her revenge eventually. After she was thoroughly marked up he moved about putting the electrodes firmly into her scalp. 

"Oh did I tell you about the Indian place that has finally opened up." He said as he placed an electrode.

"No." She said. He had but it was lovely to see him talk about something that interested him. "Are they going to do take out?"

"Yes, I checked it out in the future before all of this and it's fantastic. Shall I get us some tomorrow?" He said enthusiastically as he put another electrode onto her head.

"That would be lovely, dear. There's this movie I've been meaning to watch but unfortunately it won't release for a while yet." She said attempting not to move as he put more electrodes on her scalp.

"What movie?" He said as he one of the final electrodes onto her head.

"Cats."

"Never heard of it. Might be interesting." He muttered putting the final electrode into place. "There."

With a little bit of effort she managed to get herself under the covers of her bed. She tried to close her eyes but was distracted by the Doctor staring down at her.

"Will you stop staring at me? It's hard enough trying to sleep hooked up like a lab mouse. I don't need an audience as well." She snapped.

He turned away but she still couldn't sleep and after a while, he looked back to see her laying there.

"I could hum if that would help." He said attempting earnest but landing on nervousness which by all accounts was fair Missy did have a reputation after all.

"Yeah it would." She whispered, desperately eyeing her purple plush embroidered duvet.

He hummed softly an old Gallifreyan tune. The song's lyrics had long faded from memory but the tune remained and with it the context. It was the song you sang to those you loved when they awoke covered in sweat dreaming of personal horrors or when a child woke up convinced there was a monster under the bed (we all know that monsters don't live under beds they live in closets and wardrobe because they like trying on our clothes). It was once a war song but as the words were lost it became remembered not as a song about fighting through everything for those you loved but just as comfort and light.

Slowly Missy's eyes fluttered shut and her breathing grew measured. He smiled, she looked so beautiful. Her hair looked like a halo. 

He settled over EEG and watched it for a while noting that it was, in fact, registering brain activity. 

"You were right then, huh." He whispered softly.

He kept watching till his eyes drew so heavy that he failed at the herculean task of keeping them open and collapsed onto Missy asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah it's absolute fluff and I refuse to apologize.


End file.
